Saturday, November 21, 2015

2 days ago, im in A&E again... consulting doctor because my rib cage area have this sharp pain, due to my long cough & breathing issue. This year, i have been there for the second or third time...
Same old thing, im there alone.

I have been holding this very long already... everyday everyday, i never stop thinking of him. every single day i still think of him. Even when i went out shopping, listening to song and even when i wanted to watch movie. Whenever i am alone, outside shopping alone, I am so afraid that i might see him, or see him and his gf. So i avoid going shopping. I hate to say this, but i still miss him every single day. And when i think of him, i tears. Right now, i am writing this, i tears again... I miss him. But I know i shouldn't miss him, he don't ever care me, or know who am i anymore. He is now happy, with another girl. I really want to hate him, but i cant do it. I not sure whether he will ever read this, I just want him to know this, he makes me have trust issue, afraid of love. When i think of love, i think of him. I truly love him and its my part of growing stages. When i grow up, start to realize things, he left...
I will let him go, "everyday i will ask myself to stop thinking of you, your family, your everything. Everything related to you, i will ask myself to stop thinking of you." I will completely let him go now... Just let me be happy again...

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